The Three Little Bishounen
by Lynn Metallium
Summary: A parody of The Three Little Pigs, Weiss Kreuz style- Yaoi of course XD


The Three Little Bishounen 

By: Lynn Metallium 

Disclaimer: Im poor Xx...please don't sue me, Im cute and innocent and own nothing so you will gain nothing by sueing me- Obviously I make no money off of this and like I said I dont own it! I just borrow momentarily for my own humors.... 

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Once upon a time, there were three little bishounen! And damn were they hot! Their names were Aya, far to sexy for his shirt, Ken, the soccer loving brunette whom wore soccer bootie shorts, and Omi, the genki little baby of the family. They lived with the mommy bishoujo, Manx, whom wore socks with her high heeled shoes. 

When Ken grew old enough to move out, in other words, wash his own damn soccor shorts, the mommy bishoujo Manx said: 

"Ken....Get the hell out of my florist, you've tracked mud on the floor for the last time! Build your own pretty florist house because I'm sick of you leaving dirt and mud everywhere!" 

"This sounds like a good idea," Ken said, pleased. "Then I can stay up late and watch soccer whenever I want! I will go out into the big bad world and become a super cool soccer player and do sexy comercials for Gator Aid!" 

So Ken packed up all of his soccer gear and kissed his dear mommy bishoujo Manx good bye and hoped on his motercycle. 

"Good bye my annoying soccer player son!" Manx called after him. "Watch out for the big bad playboys!" 

So on that happy note, Ken drove away, leaving his former assassin partners and his so called loving mommy bishoujo Manx behind. Off the sexy soccer player drove, feeling damn proud of himself. But he wasn't prepared to drive for such a long ways, and soon had to pull over for gas. 

At the gas station, he met a man carrying straw in the back of his 'Farm Use' vehical, which was really only labled as so, so he could get out of paying taxes on it. Ken looked at the straw and thought to himself, 

"That would make a damn good florist building for myself!" So he walked up to the man with his tax free truck and asked polietly. "Sir, could you please let me have some of your straw to build myself a really cool florist building?" 

The man was so shocked that this other boy was so stupid as to build a florist building out of straw that he said: 

"Well if you really want some, you may have some to build your super cool florist building." 

Well Ken was delighted. He stole a whole bunch of straw, and after driving off a bit farther from the gas station, began to build himself a florist building, right off the side of the road there out of straw. 

"Now I can stay up really late and watch soccer!" Ken squealed delightedly, never mind that his house had no outlets. 

Meanwhile, Omi desided that he wanted to follow Ken's example and move out into the world, besides, he could finally wash his own sheets after his wet dreams. So mommy bishoujo Manx said: 

"You little brat! Get out of my florist shop! I am sick of washing your icky sheets when you dream about Ken! Go build your own little florist shop somewhere else!" 

"Ok!" Omi agreed easily. "It seems like a good idea! I can go out into the world and become a big grown up computer nerd!" 

So Omi packed up all his computer gear and put it on the back of his bike. 

"Be careful Omi!" Mommy bishoujo Manx warned. "The world is full of big bad playboys waiting for innocent little bishounen like you!" 

Omi agreed and got on his bike and peddled away out into the big bad world. But soon he became tired of peddling, it was hard work. 

While he was resting, he saw a man with a bunch of ugly sticks in the back of his 'farm use' truck comming down the road. Quickly Omi flagged down the man. 

"Sir Sir! Could you please let me have some of your sticks so I can build my own super cute florist building!" 

The man looked at him and wondered if he was related possibly to the other dumb boy who had taken the straw from his truck. 

"Well if it pleases you to do so," He said. "You can have some of my sticks to build your super cute florist building!" 

So Omi took the sticks and began to build a florist building on the side of the road. 

"Yay!" Omi squealed. "Now I can stay up late and chat on the internet with Nagi all night long!" Never mind that once again, his house has no outlets.... 

Finally, when Aya grew old enough to move out, in other words, wash his own damn assassin clothes, the mommy bishoujo Manx said: 

"God damn it Aya..er..Ran..er..Whatever your name is! Get out of my florist shop! Build your own pretty florist house because I'm sick of you getting blood stains on my carpet!" 

"This sounds like a good idea," Said Aya..er..Ran..er..whatever..."I am a sexy little bishounen. I will make my way into the big bad world and be a big grown up bishounen assassin man!" 

So he packed up all his assassin gear and lube..er...clothes! Yeah..thats what that was! 

Aya dressed himself in his sexy clothes and put his gear in the back of his car and flicked mommy bishoujo Manx off. 

"Because you kicked me out of your florist shop, you cannot come visit me when I become a very sexy rich assassin bitch," He promised. 

"Oh screw you," Mommy bishoujo snorted. "I hope you get screwed by the big bad playboys." 

So on that happy note, Aya got in his really cool car and drove away, leaving his former florist shop in a cloud of dust. Off the sexy assassin drove, feeling damn proud of himself. But he wasn't prepared to drive for such a long ways, and soon had to pull over for gas. 

At the gas station, he met a man carrying bricks in the back of his 'Farm Use' vehical. Aya thought to himself, 

"Hm...Bricks....Sex..NO! Bricks....*coughcough* They'd make a good florist shop-" So he walked up to the man, and told him: 

"Give me those bricks or I will kill you-" 

The man with his 'farm use' truck shook with fear and let the big bad assassin Aya take his bricks away to build himself a florist shop out of bricks. 

So the three little bishounen were finally out on their own and living the high life when one day, a big bad playboy named Yohji happened to be pimp walking along the road and stumbled over Ken's little florist shop of straw. 

"Hm...I don't seem to remember this florist shop at all-" Yohji purred to himself, licking his lips slyly. He gave a delighted grin when he saw the sexy bishounen through the window inside. So he called out to him: 

"Pretty boy, pretty boy, let me come in!" He cat-called to the soccer playing bishounen. Ken rushed to the window and stared out at the sexy Yohji, and felt his knees turn to jello. He was one of the big bad playboys his mommy bishoujo Manx had warned him about! 

"No no! Not by the hair of my...." Ken trailed off, blushing. "Well you know! But I won't let you in!" 

Yohji crossed his arms, annoyed with the pretty bishounen. He pouted cutely. 

"Then I'll moan and I'll groan and I'll turn you on till you let me in!" He replied with amusement. So he moaned, and he groaned and he turned Ken on till he could barely take it any more and he almost let him in. Suddenly a random burst of wind came along and knocked Ken's straw florist shop down and he had to run away very fast to keep his virginity safe from the big bad turned on playboy. He ran very far and very fast all the way to his former bishounen friend's florist shop of sticks. 

Yohji was very sad now, he was very horney and he hadn't been able to have that little bishounen to satisfy him. So he walked on down the road. Before long he came to the second little bishounen's florist of sticks. 

"Hm...I don't remember this florist shop either!" Yohji grinned, and just as he hoped he saw the sexy little bishounen Omi through the window, and the first little sexy bishounen Ken, making out on the kitchen counter. Well Yohji was very turned on by this so he called out: 

"Pretty boys, pretty boys! Let me come in!" He whimpered out playfully, leaning up against the window. Omi and Ken squealed in horror at being watched and when they saw Yohji standing there and he winked, their knees turned to jello. It was the big bad playboy their mommy bishoujo Manx had warned them about. 

"No no! Not by the hair of my...." Omi trailed of blushing hard. "Well! You know, but we won't let you in!" 

Yohji started to pout, they were all just no fun! 

"Then I'll moan and groan and I'll turn you both on till you let me in!" He purred sweetly. So he moaned and he groaned and he turned the two little bishounen on until they could both barely take it any more and they almost let him in. Suddenly a random rock was thrown at the florist shop of sticks and it all came tumbling down. The two little bishounen had to run very fast to save their sweet little virgin asses from being caught by the big bad playboy Yohji. They ran all the way to the assassin Aya and his brick florist shop. 

By now Yohji was very...*cough* frustrated as he walked down the road. He wanted those little bishounen so badly but he just couldn't catch them! Before long though, he came upon the third little bishounen's florist shop of bricks. 

"Damn,..." He muttered. "Whats with all these florist shops everywhere?" But then he started to drool when he stared through the window and saw the sexy little bishounen Aya in the shower. He was by far, the sexiest little bishounen of all, Yohji thought as he pleased himself there against Aya's outside wall. Suddenly Aya turned and saw Yohji doing his rather unspeakable thing against the wall of his florist shop. Yohji though, only gave him a wink and called out: 

"Pretty boy, pretty boy, let me come in!" He moaned to the red-headed assassin through the window. Aya glared in anger at being spyed on and having...foreign substances sprayed on his wall. It was that big bad playboy mommy bishoujo Manx had hoped would screw him! 

"No, go die!" Aya snarled and flicked him off. "And wipe that off my wall or I will have to beat you!" 

"Do you promise?" Yohji's eyes lit up as he stared at Aya's body through the window. 

"Shi Ne!" Aya snapped and pulled down his shades, hidding himself from the view of the big bad Yohji, who still had the need for the little bishounen, even though he had made a mess on his wall. 

"I will moan and groan untill you let me in little bishounen!" Yohji called out. So he moaned, and he groaned, but he just couldn't seem to get Aya to let him in! So Yohji sat down on the ground and began to plot. How could he get into the little bishounen's shop? Finally he called out to the pretty boys: 

"Pretty boy, Pretty boy! I know where you can buy lots of yummy ice cream!" 

Omi heard that he squealed with delight. 

"Ask him where!" Omi begged Aya with his big blue eyes. Aya rolled his eyes but did as he was asked. 

"Where big bad playboy , can we buy lots of yummy ice cream?" He called out the window. Yohji grinned like mad. 

"At the convenence store down the road! Be ready at 7-o-clock and I will take you all there in my Seven car!" 

"Very well-" Aya agreed. So the next morning, Omi got up at 6-o-clock and went to the convenence store and bought their icecream. When Yohji showed up in Seven, he called out: 

"Pretty boy, pretty boy, are you ready to go?" 

"We've already gotten our ice cream-" Omi replied out the window, waving a spoon full of chocolate icecream around in the air. Yohji let out a string of curses. 

"Pretty boys, you didn't wait for me!" 

"No, we were really hungry! Sorry!" Omi giggled and stared down at him with big sexy blue eyes. Yohji whimpered to himself. 

"Pretty boys, I know where you can get lots of cool soccer equipment!" 

When Ken heard that he squealed with delight. 

"Ask him where!" Ken begged Aya with his chocolate colored eyes. Aya groaned to himself but did as he was asked. 

"Where big bad playboy, can we buy lots of cool soccer equipment?"He called out the window, pretending that he wasn't giving Yohji come hither eyes. Yohji nearly swooned seeing the redhead. 

"At the soccer store down the road! Be ready at 6-o-clock and I will take you there in Seven!" Yohji sugestivly stroked his car. 

"Very well-" Aya agreed. So the next morning, Ken got up at 5-o-clock and went to the soccer store and bought lots of soccer equipment. When Yohji showed up in Seven, he called out: 

"Pretty boy, pretty boy! Are you ready to go?" 

"Look! Look what I can do!" Ken called down through the window, balancing his new soccer ball on his head. Yohji let out a string of curses. 

"You didn't wait for me!" He sulked. 

"Nope! Really wanted that soccer equipment!" Ken grined and bounced back off into the house, the sound of a broken flower pot soon came after and Aya's angry voice. Yohji groaned, he was never going to get any! 

"SHI NE KEN!" 

"Pretty boy!" Yohji called up in desperation. "Come, I know a place that sells really nice katanas!" 

Aya perked up when he heard this and forgot all about the flower pot and leaned out the window to stare at Yohji with sexy purple eyes. 

"Where, big bad playboy, do they sell nice katanas?" 

"At the...Katana store-" Yohji nodded innocently. "Right down the road. Be ready at 7-o-clock and I will take you in Seven." 

"Very well," Aya agreed. So the next morning, Aya got up at 6-o-clock and went to the katana store, but by now Yohji had caught on to their little plan. So when Aya got home, Yohji was waiting in the doorway. 

"Pretty boy, pretty boy, I've caught you all alone, now I must ravish you-" Yohji smirked, very proud of himself, waiting for Aya to start screaming or something of the likes. Aya stood there and stared at him, fishing the keys out of his pocket. 

"Ken and Omi are out, you can come in now-" 

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I told you if I moaned and groaned enough he would let me 'in'-" Yohji giggled, rolling over to press against his new love. Aya only flushed at the implications. 

Suddenly, the door bursted open and Ken and Omi rushed in. 

"Aya Aya! Seven is sitting outside! Where is the big bad...." 

Aya stared at them silently, ok so it was more like a glare, but he did that eye thing anyway. 

"Aya! The big bad playboy is supose to get eaten! Not slept with!" Omi whined. "Thats not how the story goes and you know it!" 

Aya only looked at them silently for a moment before replying. 

"But I did 'eat' him..." 

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End ^^;; 

Authors Notes: Damn I'm amused XD.......Nuf said- 


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